In today’s world, mental health struggles are a major concern for everyone—including our tweens. Tweens, or tweenagers, are defined as children 9-12 years old. As a mom, you likely want to find answers on how to help your child through their challenges. Mood disorders, such as anxiety and depression, and behavioral disorders such as ADD/ADHD are the most common mental health challenges for our tweens. Understanding these conditions can help you feel confident in navigating the symptoms and taking action when needed. In this post, we’ll dive into these 3 common child mental health struggles in ages 9-12 and offer practical advice to support your child.
Alarming Statistics: A Call for Awareness
According to the CDC, among youth ages 10-14 years, suicide is the second leading cause of death. This statistic is staggering and highlights the importance of recognizing mental health concerns early on and opening up conversations with our children about their emotional well-being.
In the U.S., between 2021 and 2022, it was found that 10% of children ages 3-17 had diagnosed anxiety, 7% had diagnosed behavioral disorders, and 4% had diagnosed depression. If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, here’s what you need to know about these three conditions and how to take action.
Anxiety in Tweens and Adolescents
Anxiety is more than just occasional worry. The American Psychological Association defines it as feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like an increased heart rate. For tweens, anxiety becomes a problem when it interferes with daily life and persists for an extended period.
Top 3 Signs of Anxiety in Tweens:
- Physical symptoms like stomach aches and headaches.
- A noticeable decline in academic performance.
- Intense irritability.
How to Take Action
- Ensure your child gets enough exercise, sleep, and relaxation.
- Offer encouragement and set realistic goals.
- Accept silence and respect your child’s need for privacy and personal space.
ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)
ADHD is a developmental disorder marked by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. It affects children’s ability to concentrate, maintain relationships, and succeed academically, often continuing into adolescence and adulthood.
Top 3 Signs of ADHD:
- Inattention: Difficulty focusing, following instructions, or completing tasks.
- Hyperactivity: Seemingly endless energy, frequent interruptions, or excessive talking.
- Impulsivity: Acting without thinking and having difficulty with self-control.
How to Take Action
- Don’t blame yourself or your child; ADHD is not caused by bad parenting.
- Listen more than you speak, allowing your child to express their thoughts.
- Understand the fear and stigma your child might feel about having a mental health disorder, and address it openly.
- Limit and monitor social media.
Depression in Tweens
Depression is more than just a bad mood. If your child is sad, irritable, or hopeless for more than two weeks, it could be a sign of depression. Depression can drastically affect a child’s ability to enjoy life and function normally.
Top 3 Signs of Depression:
- Lethargy or fatigue.
- Sleeping too much or too little.
- Losing interest in activities, hobbies, or social interactions.
How to Take Action
- Talk to your pediatrician about initial depression screenings.
- Seek help from a child mental health specialist.
- Be available for open conversations and ensure your child knows you are a safe space for them to talk.
- Limit and monitor social media.
Noah’s Journey with Depression and Anxiety
When Noah turned 11, his mother noticed changes in him that seemed to go beyond the usual ups and downs of tween life. While he’d always shown signs of anxiety, it had recently started interfering with his daily activities. He frequently complained of stomachaches and headaches before school, struggled to engage in soccer—a sport he typically loved—and had become increasingly irritable with family and friends. His mother felt helpless, uncertain about how to support him through something she couldn’t fully understand.
From their first conversation with Noah’s counselor at ACA, she felt a deep sense of relief. The counselor listened, offered valuable insights, and reassured her that they weren’t alone on this journey. Eventually, Noah was diagnosed with anxiety and mild depression—a difficult reality for any parent to face.
After a few months in therapy, Noah’s progress has been remarkable. His counselor introduced him to techniques to manage his anxiety and provided guidance for the family to support him naturally. Simple adjustments—ensuring Noah was eating and sleeping well, spending time outside, limiting phone use, setting small goals, respecting his need for space, and learning to listen without pressure—have made a significant difference. Now, Noah is doing better in school, has a healthier outlook, and seems more like himself each day.
When to Reach Out for Help
Resilience, or the ability to bounce back from adversity, is a key factor in supporting positive mental health. According to the following national data from 2021-2022, many children demonstrate strong indicators of mental resilience:
- 83% of children show curiosity and eagerness to learn new things.
- 72% remain calm and in control when facing challenges.
- 81% put effort into completing tasks they begin.
Encouraging these behaviors not only promotes emotional well-being but also prepares your child to handle life’s challenges with confidence.
Supporting your child’s mental health can make a profound difference in their long-term well-being. For parents, understanding common child mental health struggles in ages 9-12, including conditions like ADHD, anxiety, and depression, is essential. Staying informed and taking action as needed can have a positive impact on your child’s emotional and behavioral growth.
It’s important to talk openly with your children and ask how they’re feeling. Alabama ranks eighth out of 47 states in the rate of teen suicide, highlighting the need for conversation and support. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 for assistance. Or learn more with the help of Alabama Family Central.
This is part two in a three-part series called Child Mental Health Awareness (you can find part 1 here), presented by Alabama Family Central. Alabama Family Central is a collaboration of state agencies and partners supporting Alabama’s families with online resources, services, and more to help raise healthy, happy kids. With access to vetted resources families can search Alabama Family Central confidently, find answers quickly, and get one step ahead.
Meet Alexis Sapp and ACA Counseling
Alexis Sapp of Alabama Child & Adolescent Counseling is the featured contributor for this series and the writer of this article. ACA Counseling is a group practice located in the heart of Hoover. Ms. Sapp is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Supervising Counselor (LPC-S), and National Board Certified Counselor (NBCC). She leads a passionate team empowering children, teens, and families to overcome personal obstacles. At ACA Counseling, we are proud to offer animal-assisted therapy, where our facility dogs play a therapeutic role in helping children heal and thrive. To reach out for services you may contact ACA Counseling at 205-530-8743 or email [email protected].
Enjoy this article? Check out part 1 in this series here…
Understanding 3 Most Common Child Mental Health Struggles :: Ages 5-8
