They say it takes a village to raise a child. For those who are raising special needs children it takes more than that–it takes a community.
Our community has been one of the greatest blessings in my life.
Many of us parents feel alone. We can’t always go and do the things that other parents can do. Our children don’t interact with other kids the same way, so often we simply choose to stay home instead of potentially risking a public meltdown, which can sometimes lead to strangers judging us and making unnecessary comments. When we find our community, we cling to it and celebrate it.
My kids’ godfathers and godmother have been a very large part of their lives from day one. I can’t imagine my life without them and their support and love. They treat my kids like their own. Their godfathers have been so crucial to Emmett’s development and my sanity. His face lights up whenever he sees them, and they literally glow with love for my kids. They’re so much more than my friends. That word never did them justice. They’re my family.
We have two fantastic women who cut Emmett’s hair. In the beginning, he would scream and cry going into a hair salon. Now he walks in grinning, flirting, and knowing he’s going to get all the attention and sweets. When he was going to the YMCA, the workers were his favorite. They would take turns working with him and do all they could so I could have a break to focus on myself and my mental health. Those two hours were such a relaxing time, even though I was working out hard. Sometimes I would even sit in the locker room and lose myself in a good book. I may have even taken a much-needed nap by the pool.
Our medical team has been nothing short of a blessing.
Emmett has at least 13 different specialists and doctors that we have seen since he was a few days old, and some we still continue to see. His pediatrician came highly recommended not only by my friends, but on the different Facebook groups. I honestly attribute a lot of his early intervention to Dr Jolly. He took note and has always gone out of his way to help me get Emmett every resource available. The clinic manager where he was receiving therapy became one of my closest friends and cheerleaders. I have sat in Malissa’s office crying numerous times, venting over the different struggles that come with this life, and brainstorming different strategies on what to do next.
Emmett’s currently in ABA therapy. His former BCBA has also become a wonderful friend, supporter, and resource. His current one has been with him for over a year. She is so dedicated to these children. She’s someone who not only loves what she does but also loves the children in her care, and it shows.
The RBTs that he’s had and currently have are my rock. I try to remind them often that whether or not they realize it, what they’re doing makes a huge difference, especially the men that work there. As a single mother, Emmett needs positive male role models. They not only provide it but are also probably some of his favorite people. He’s got a few he constantly asks for and absolutely loves. One of my favorite things they tell me is that once he “graduates,” they really want to stay in his life. A few who have moved on have reached out to me and regularly check in. As I’ve said, it’s not a village, it’s a community.
My friends have been fantastic.
They go out of their way to interact with him. They’ve asked me questions and researched more about autism. Being a parent can be lonely, but it’s also hard because sometimes you don’t know why a meltdown occurs—it just happens. So, having friends who are patient and supportive during the good and bad is wonderful. Emmett’s got “aunts” and “uncles” who care about him and make every effort with him. They also genuinely love me, and I can’t count the number of times they’ve listened to me vent or externalize. Whether or not they can relate, they give me a much-needed outlet. (My friends also provide me with feedback on my posts while still in the editing phase, helping me make sure I’m articulating what I’m trying to convey to those without special needs children.)
Lastly, I wouldn’t be where I am without my family.
I wish my grandfather, his namesake, could have met Emmett. My grandma absolutely adored him. I’m the first granddaughter and grandchild, and we honestly weren’t sure if I would ever have children, so Emmett’s arrival was greeted with quite a bit of celebration. She was there the day he was born and was an advocate for him during her time on earth. My uncle, aunt, and cousins have been fantastic! They ride out meltdowns and treat Emmett with so much love and respect. They actively engage with him and give him space when needed. My mom is truly amazing! Here is a post I wrote in tribute to her. I’m the mom I am because of her.
