One year ago in April, Emmett started Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy for autism. I think it’s appropriate that the month he started is the month awareness is raised specifically for this.
In honor of my amazing son, I would love to share our journey with you.
When you first meet Emmett, you see a tall blonde-headed boy with great hair, a contagious smile, and a silly laugh. You see a child who is energetic and happy, skipping around and looking for things to get into. You see a “typical,” sturdy five-year-old. Once you start to engage with him, however, you notice things that aren’t “typical.” He doesn’t make eye contact, he’s a bit shy, and he doesn’t actively interact with you. When he speaks, you notice that you don’t completely understand what he is saying.
Emmett was hands down a super happy and easy baby. He didn’t cry a lot, and in general was a healthy little boy. It was as he got closer to two that I started noticing changes. At our well visits, it went from his meeting milestones to suddenly regressing. I brought this up to our pediatrician, and Dr Jolly suggested Speech and Occupational Therapy. With the evaluations it was shown that he had behavioral and developmental delays, as well as delayed fine motor skills.
We would spend the next two and a half years receiving assistance.
It was during these years that I ended up separating and then divorcing his dad and moving in with my mom. She suggested that Emmett may be autistic. I brought up our concerns to his therapists and the manager, who later became a very dear friend and huge supporter. They, along with his pediatrician, encouraged me to get him tested. Unfortunately, because of Covid many places had a wait list of a year or more out.
As time passed, Mom and I made the decision to move from Chelsea to Pelham, where I was able to enroll him in Early Intervention Pre-K. After the IEP testing, I was told that, from a school standpoint, Emmett showed all the signs of being autistic. I broke down crying in front of the teachers and principal. It’s a feeling of justification that you know you were right, that something was going on with your child. So, the diagnosis felt like a weight was taken off. We now had a rough map to guide us forward.
Emmett thrived and made progress, but there were still a lot of struggles.
He would get frustrated because he couldn’t make himself understood. Luckily, our prayers were answered, and he was able to get tested. The doctor referred us to Applied Behavior Analysis (or ABA, which I will be doing another post later on as this is not often known about and is actually quite interesting on how it’s used to help autistic kids and adults).
Have you ever seen Mr. Hollands Opus? If not, I strongly encourage you to watch it. There’s a scene I’ll never forget of the mother on the kitchen floor, holding her screaming, deaf child and sobbing, saying she just wants to talk to her son! Many of us can relate to that. All I wanted was to be able to talk to my son! At almost four, I’d hear babbles and maybe one word in five was understood.
Anyone would get frustrated if they knew exactly what they were saying and wanting but couldn’t get the words out. You want the red cup, not the blue one, and yet all that is coming out is that you want the blue cup. So, you are given the blue cup, and you get upset. The only way you can express how you are feeling is to erupt, because you are that frustrated. That is how I can only assume he feels.
There is, however, a happy continuation to our story.
Emmett has been doing ABA for a year, now. At first it was really rough. His former Behavior Analyst (BCBA), Jessica, and his Behavior Technicians (RBTs) were determined, and, slowly but surely, we went from counting one word to two to three, and now he can do a half sentence. Him saying he loves me for the first time was the sweetest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I have been so pleased with the progress he has made! Every month we meet with his current BCBA to go over his progress, struggles, and things we can do at home to help.
Emmett’s story is not over yet.
If anything, its continuing to get better and better. He has gotten a communication device that has opened up even more words and phrases for him. The little boy whose words we were constantly counting is now talking more and more! Also, he’s getting adorably sassy in the process. He is a huge helper and loves to help with anything if you will let him. One of our cats, Moka, is his best friend and companion. He amazes us every day with the new things he is doing and saying.
