Parenting in the Pandemic
My two oldest sons were both schooled at home for two years during the pandemic and just completed their first year back in public school. They did so much better than I would have imagined! (We moved back here from Texas when my husband began working from home full time to be near family.)
My sons had been attending an online private school that mostly allowed them to be independent in their studies. They were able to learn concepts at their own pace. My son with autism adjusted well to the online platform because, as a self-paced program, it didn’t require any additional supports.
Effects of Lacking Social Skills
They did well given the circumstances, but we still never overcame the struggle of not having peers their own age around to socialize with regularly. This was really important for us because our children enjoy watching videos online and playing video games, but those can often be isolating. Once the pandemic had come to more or less of an end, we felt that being back in school was best for our children. I felt it was important for them to create bonds, learn social skills, and learn in-person with a teacher again. We also decided to put our two youngest (who are three and one) into a Mother’s Day Out program at a church. We found one with mid-year openings and liked that they interacted with children their own age for a few days a week.
Overcoming Struggles with a New Routine
I had become pretty used to our new routine and was concerned about their education. I wondered how well-prepared they were due to the curricula they used because of where they were taught. My concerns were definitely valid, because the online program didn’t implement writing by hand—most writing assignments were typed. My children have always enjoyed writing stories and still wrote for fun sometimes, so they still exercised this skill periodically. I knew they would have to get accustomed to writing most everything in their classrooms again.
Relating to Others With Autism
My fifth grader was the child I was most concerned for because of his struggle with autism. His autism affects his ability to connect with others in meaningful ways at times. He can seem stand-offish or reserved to others even if he doesn’t mean to be. He does not understand many of the social norms that most people know naturally. I thought that he might be a target for bullying because no one knew how sweet of a person he was, and I feared they might not take the time to know him on a deeper level. I knew this wouldn’t be due to any fault of their own; my son struggles with letting others in because he enjoys spending so much of his time on his own.
Surprising Strides in School
My biggest hope was that he wouldn’t come home telling us about some of the kids being mean to him. I didn’t think a year would be enough time for my kids to make close relationships, but they did just that! They made lots of friends with many other students. My sons also connected with their teachers, and my oldest was selected to have additional responsibilities to help sort books in the library. He even got a few letters from friends that expressed how well-loved and cared for he was among his classmates. Seeing their growth and connections with others really warmed my heart as a mother.
Middle School Woes
He did recently share his fears of middle school with me, because he doesn’t know what to expect. He is nervous of how differently things will go next year without his brother at the same school. His brother will attend fourth grade, and he is moving on to sixth grade. I remember middle school and can recall the personal feelings of insecurity. Elementary school represents the young and playful side of childhood, while middle school is suddenly more grown-up and a higher level of maturity is expected among students.
As a parent, I am a little nervous as well, but it is my job to instill confidence in my children. I encouraged him that everything will work out just fine. I told him that we will make adjustments as needed to help him succeed. As I said this, I saw the weight lift from his shoulders and he looked at me with a newfound hope about his future. Despite good grades and friends, he is still worried that a new school could be more than he can handle.
Words of Encouragement
I encourage any parent that is struggling with a similar situation to keep your mind on the positive. Try to be the encouraging voice for your kids in order to uplift them. As we navigate through school, I will lock arms with my children, other parents, teachers, and students. With compassion and support, we will all make it to our goals together. We all need a community and support system to achieve what we are looking to accomplish.
