“Okay, buddy, we are going to go get your haircut. Come on kiddo let’s go.” Dead silence followed by a shrill scream of “NO!!!” and the fight to get into the car, the struggle to get out of the car, the screaming once inside the hair salon. When it’s time to cut hair there’s tears, there’s more screams, there’s a wrestling match, and sometimes he gets sick after because he was so upset. In the end both of us are frustrated, hot, and not looking forward to the next encounter. At least this was how it had been for us for so long.
For many parents of special needs children this scene is all too familiar. There’s so much stress and anxiety behind getting our child’s hair cut. We have a few options, though. We can prepare them ahead of time and work through whatever feelings and behaviors come. Or, we can just show up at the place and pray the surprise makes take a moment to realize what is happening. We could also attempt to cut their hair ourselves, either when they’re distracted or asleep. I’ve tried all of these, and, let’s just say, I’m glad hair grows back.
You may wonder what the solution is to this obvious and stressful scenario.
Well, for many of us, it’s posting on different social media platforms asking for assistance and recommendations. It’s reaching out to others in the special needs community and asking who they use. I have emailed businesses and let them know that I have an autistic child and asked if they’re comfortable with cutting his hair. Some will say yes, and some will kindly suggest we find another place. For those that suggest we go somewhere else there’s no hard feelings. It can be very stressful all around and it’s usually more of a challenge than not.
I’m going to highlight three businesses here that not only are highly recommended from moms of special littles, but that I’ve also used for my son. Every child is different, especially those on the spectrum. Finding people who are kind, understanding, and patient is not always easy. These three places have been absolutely wonderful for those of us in this community!
1. Haven Space Salon (205) 582-2600
5291 Valleydale Rd, Unit 125, Birmingham, 35242
Who to request: Jessica Ford and Jordan Banna
Both of these fantastic ladies have volunteered at Mitchell’s Place, so they not only understand the special needs community, but they also have a heart for it. They greet you at the door with smiles and warm welcomes. They will focus on your child and get to know them and make them more comfortable. Emmett loves to explore and walk around. They will walk with him and talk and put him at ease.
What is so neat is how both of them work together on getting his hair cut. One will engage with him while the other cuts his hair, and back and forth. He knows he’s going to get suckers and uses it to his advantage when he comes in. It’s truly amazing the progress that has been made since coming here. The entire staff is very kind and accommodating. The environment is calming and not overstimulating. For us, Haven Space has become a true haven, and those beautiful ladies are a tremendous blessing to the community.
2. The Pit Stop Barbershop (205) 624-2016
76 Fulton Springs Rd, Ste C, Alabaster, 35007
Who to request: Gary Keith
If you search the different Facebook groups and autism support groups for haircuts, you will see Gary Keith’s name pop up quite often. He’s a kind man who truly loves what he does. The Pit Stop is a wonderful and fun barbershop. If your little one likes cars, this is definitely the place to go! The theme of the shop is cars, hence the name The Pit Stop. It’s a fun and hip atmosphere that makes you feel welcome and relaxed as soon as you walk in the door. Gary treats all kids the same no matter what. To him they all are unique, special, and deserving of his time and attention.
I was nervous the first time we went, and in those early days I apologized quite often when Emmett would have meltdowns. Gary always brushed it off, reminding me that Emmett’s a child just as any other and kids don’t always like haircuts. He encouraged me to trust the process, that it would get better. The staff and customers who come in are fantastic. They’re encouraging and kind to the kids who come in, especially ones who are not too sure about getting their hair cut. Gary is fast, too. He gets the job done, and, wow, does he do a wonderful job! Wherever you are in the Birmingham area, making a pit stop at the Pit Stop Barbershop is absolutely worth it.
3. Sharkey’s Cuts For Kids (205) 991-5999
5263 US-280 W, Birmingham, 35242
Who to request: Sally Walker
I cannot stress enough how wonderful Sally is! Sharkey’s is a lot like most kid hair salons. It has fun cars for them to get in, the bright lights, TVs, and playful environment. Unlike other kid hair salons, however, this one has the sweet Sally Walker. When I say you and your child will fall in love with her, I’m not joking. Sally has a kind and open demeanor. She can calm an upset child simply with her gentle words and calming presence.
Sally is another who pops up in several autism support groups and mom groups in the Birmingham area. She absolutely loves what she does and the kids who get their hair cut with her. She not only strives to have a relationship with the children, but also with the parents. One time when we went she ended up spoon feeding Emmett dip and dots ice cream after a meltdown, because that’s just the loving woman that she is. If you’re on Highway 280, swim on over and see sweet Sally!
Final Notes
Every child is different, especially ones on the spectrum. For us, it has required that we bounce around to find someone that is a good fit for Emmett with where he is currently and what he’s struggling with. At different times, all three of these places worked for us in the stage he was at. Where we are currently is exactly where he needs to be.
Autistic kids and kids with special needs do struggle with sensory issues. It can be that the environment is too bright, loud, crowded, etc. Emmett can’t have his hair sprayed when being cut. Trimmers need to be small, quiet, and out of sight. Some kids need scissors, and some go into a panic at the sight. Some are okay wearing a cape, and some, like my son, prefer being shirtless and covered in baby powder. You just have to find whatever works for your child to put them the most at ease. All of the above stylists that I have mentioned go out of their way to do just that.
I strongly encourage calling and letting the salons know you have a special needs child.
I would recommend asking if you can come in for everyone to meet and become familiar with one another before your appointment so nothing is shocking when you return for a haircut. You’ve been in there already; there’s familiar faces and the environment isn’t new. The key word in all of this is familiar, because that’s absolutely what our children need.
Also, I cannot stress consistency enough. We go once a month, now, and each visit is getting better and better. It is not going to be perfect right away! You will get there, though, I promise.
