Having a new baby is exciting! There is a sense of pride that comes with a new bundle of joy. The tasks that come along with taking care of an infant are by no means easy, however. Diaper changing, feeding, tummy time and bath time—your baby will need you for all of their needs. Your little one is now getting most of your attention, and that can drain the time and energy you want to have for your partner. Studies show that a couples’ satisfaction with their relationship can decline after having their first child. This doesn’t have to be the case for you and your partner, though! Here’s some guidance to keep a strong bond during the infant days.
How to reconnect with your partner after you have a baby:
1. Set aside time daily just for communication.
After the workday has ended and the baby is down for a bit, take time to simply talk to your significant other. This is a great way to check in and get on the same page. Practice speaking one at a time. One person should be listening, allowing the other to talk about their day, express feelings about anything they wanted to sort out, or catch up on scheduling, for example. Taking turns and being respectful to one another helps minimize arguments and promotes healthy, collaborative communication. This isn’t about one person’s voice.
Communication is important, especially with a newborn, because both parents should know what’s going on with all the babies’ needs. Oftentimes so much responsibility falls on the mother that she is tasked with keeping up with everything while dad just follows directions. But, during daily communication time you can come up with a plan that makes the routine equal, so you will both win! You’ll feel better about the relationship and parenting together will flow easier. Remember, give each other grace and patience. It can take some time to get a routine nailed down.
2. Plan a date night.
I realized as a mom to a now six month old, that quality time with my husband was becoming non-existent outside of us being excited to finally go to bed for the night. Plan for date night as frequently as your circumstances allow, but just make sure to do it! Is there a local restaurant or activity you two have wanted to try? What about a quick weekend getaway? Ensure you can get the full experience with each other by securing a trusted babysitter like a grandparent.
If family is not close by or is unavailable, try networking with other moms in Facebook groups, your local church, or coworkers to hear about their recommended sitters. You can date-in as well! Cook your favorite meal together, or get something delivered, and watch a good movie. Habitually spending quality time with each other will keep the bond strong.
3. Gift your partner some “me” time.
It might seem counter-intuitive, but providing your partner with some private “me” time can actually bring the two of you closer! This is a simple way to show your appreciation and that you value them. Providing them with a window of time that they can devote to their own self-care will also help them relax and make them more resilient to the stressful moments that come with parenthood.
“Me time” can be inexpensive or cost nothing at all, too! Treat your partner with a stay-cation, run a bubble bath, or simply encourage them to take an afternoon away to catch up with friends. Both partners having this time is so impactful to the overall mood of the relationship. You will find them coming back to you recharged and ready to be a better parent and partner.
Parenthood is so beautiful and rewarding. It brings great happiness for so many people! However, during this busy time, you can keep your romantic relationship from diminishing. Utilize the above tips into your day-to-day lives to maintain your spark, and create an even healthier, happier home environment for your children to grow up in.
