It’s dance recital season here in the South and your girl is excited.
By my best calculations, I have performed in 24 dance recitals, produced nine recitals as a studio owner, and will be enjoying my second recital this year as a dance mom. I think it is fair to call myself an expert on the subject and all the associated etiquette, expectations, and experiences.
I could give your dancer all the tips and tricks for changing costumes in under two minutes, creating the perfect sock bun, or how to stay warmed up during those long dress rehearsals. I could consult dance teachers and studio owners on the most efficient ways to run a backstage or how to keep an audience of dads and brothers interested in what’s happening onstage. I could offer sound advice to dance moms who are nervous about losing hair pieces backstage or even losing a child in the crowd of people. (Trust me, it has happened!) I could write a dissertation on the perfect recital day from any vantage point— the dancer, the director, the volunteer, the dance parent, or the audience member.
But, that is not what this is. There are hundreds of articles out there that can give you all the information and life hacks you need to survive, and even thrive, on recital day. This is simply a love letter from a dancer, dance teacher, and dance mom to recital season.
As a young dancer, nothing was bigger than recital day—no school event, no social engagement, no holiday tradition.
Nothing could top the excitement that would start to build as the month of May rolled around again and all the dancers in your class knew it was time to get down to business. If our routines were not ready, they better be soon! Competition routines that had been perfect for months needed new life breathed into them. Costumes needed to be steamed, and shoes needed to be cleaned. We dolled ourselves up for a photographer to come make portraits in our costumes. Those photos were then used for ads in our recital program from family and friends saying, “Good Luck!”, “Congratulations” and the occasional “profound” statement such as, “Dance like no one is watching!”
Nervous butterflies built as we walked into the auditorium with costumes in hand for the big dress rehearsal.
Being on stage under the lights felt like being on Broadway! We were the stars! We could conquer anything! Until. . . someone forgot the next combination and froze. The look on their face gave it all away! And, just like that, our teacher lost her composure. (She can’t believe we could mess up after allllll the months of practice, and she let us know in no uncertain terms that we would stay and run it “just one more time” until the routine was perfect. Yikes!) Our moms would think it’s too harsh. But, to us, the dancers, that’s just “show business.” We would press on until it was right, until we were proud of our work, and we were ready.
As a studio owner, nothing was bigger than recital day—not the business plan, not the bottom line, and not the balance sheet.
It wasn’t about the number of students on the stage that day, it was about how each individual student felt. The recital space had been booked months before, all the paperwork filed, insurance purchased, security booked, technical crew hired, backstage manager trained, front of house managers in place, ad book designed and printed.
But none of that mattered if the students did not feel prepared. Did I do enough for them? Would the technique and training they received all year shine through in a two-minute routine? I’d spent weeks preparing a script for my emcee. I’d printed backstage instructions for all the dance moms and volunteers to ensure a seamless flow. I had selected the perfect costumes for each routine, appropriate for the age group and flattering on all students. I had measured the dancers, created spreadsheets for my large purchase order, and broke into a full nervous sweat when they arrived months later, praying they were just right.
But would my dancers feel confident in these costumes? Had I done enough to build them up? The creative vision, the glitz and glam, the ticket sales and attendance did not matter if the students did not have a positive experience. Did my dancers know I was as anxious as them on recital day? NO! They couldn’t! I had to be their fearless leader. I had to calm nerves, wipe tears, fix bows, lead the warm-ups, and solve every crisis for them. I had to know every detail of the day inside and out so I could help the first-time dance mom with her hundreds of questions, and I had to stay calm when problems arose in the crowds of people eager to watch their dancer.
Recital day was a marathon, not a sprint.
After the curtain closed, it was time to clear everyone out, break down the set, and leave the space cleaner than we found it. Then I would feed my volunteers to thank them for their much-needed help, tie up loose ends, and get order forms to our videographer and photographer. By the end, I was exhausted both mentally and physically. But, I did not mind. Recital day had been perfect! After months of planning details large and small, the day went off without a hitch. The smiles and laughter of my little dancers backstage was all the payment I needed. The pride that beamed from my older dancers who nailed an advanced skill onstage was worth every moment of stress. It was time to celebrate. . . for a minute. Then it was time to plan for next year.
As a dance mom, nothing is bigger than recital day—not the first day of school, not Christmas morning, not even a potty-training victory.
There is something uniquely special about watching your son or daughter sharing their talents on stage. You do not have to know a single thing about dance to appreciate watching your child’s growth from year to year or to recognize the look on your child’s face when they know they performed a step correctly. The day is simply magical and filled with pure joy all around.
I always hear fellow dance moms worried that their child will make a mistake or forget everything they know. The truth is, it doesn’t even matter. Your child could get on stage and go rouge, doing the hokey pokey or the latest TikTok dance, and it would still be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. Your dancer could spiral into an overstimulated, nervous meltdown and it would give you the opportunity for a heartfelt motivational talk with a tender hug. Your dancer could make a mistake and feel defeated, but you will step in and let them know each mistake is a chance to learn and grow.
Recital day is one of the best of days for parenting. It gives you so many opportunities to offer encouragement, love, support, prayer, praise, a shoulder to cry on, or a quiet conversation. It’s a chance to get the entire family together to celebrate your dancer, catch up, and share a celebratory meal. It’s a chance for you to notice how much your child has grown over the last year, how much has changed, and how much has not. Recital day gives parents a moment in time to measure against the others, a milestone to remember, and a chance to make core memories.
I will always be the biggest advocate for dance education for children.
They learn so much more than just the routines you see onstage at their recital. They learn to be confident, how to showcase their personalities, how to build strong bodies and healthy habits, how to stay dedicated and committed to a team, how to take responsibility for their belongings and behavior, how to communicate their feelings in a positive way, and how to show respect to authority figures and classmates. They are exposed to all genres of music, to new ideas, and new people they wouldn’t know otherwise. Their creativity and imagination are unlocked, and they learn to look at the world through a different lens. All these skills are amazing assets to students as they grow and mature.
Dance can change lives! It changed mine, and I have seen it change countless others. I am so happy and proud to pass on this love of dance to my children. Will my daughter always want to be a ballerina when she grows up? Probably not. I would be supportive and excited over any new activity she picks up, but there is something so special and nostalgic about a dancer watching her baby become a dancer. No matter what happens on recital day this year, or any year, I will always love recital season. To all the dancers, teachers, directors, and dance moms: “Bravo!” on another season well done, and “Break a Leg” on recital day!
