“I have two hands”, my best friend of twenty years said.
We were leaving a restaurant; I was heavily pregnant at the time and trying to juggle/carry more than I should. That was when he looked at me, and, laughing, said a sentence I will never forget. It took me a moment for the words to process. During that time I was looking at his hands thinking he had lost his mind.
As a single parent, I am so used to doing everything on my own. (In fact, I think that is how a lot of mothers are.) So, when someone says, “I have two hands,” we look at them a bit odd. Often, we do not expect the offer for help without having to ask—and sometimes plead—for it first. What they are really saying is something like the following:
- “I have two hands to help you carry your load.”
- “I have two hands to help with the children.”
- “I have two hands to wipe the tears from your face.”
- “I have two hands to do household chores so that you may rest.”
- “I have two hands to hold you on days when you feel like you are struggling and don’t know how to keep going.”
- “I have two hands to lift you up and remind you how amazing I think you are.”
This is a reminder that even on the days when we feel like we are doing things on our own and no one sees us, someone else does. Plus, they actually want to help us! It is a reminder that, even though at times it is hard to relinquish the control of doing everything on our own, there is someone who is willing to share the load for a time so we can have a moment to breathe.
In the special needs community, we frequently talk about how it takes a village, and we call that village our tribe. It can be easy to forget that our tribe is ready with two hands to help and lift us up. Personally, asking for help has not always been my strong suit. Thankfully, with age comes a new set of wisdom, so I have learned to reach out and ask my people for help. My goal is to take at least one hour a week and do something just for me, and that’s only possible thanks to those who want to help out. I am so very glad that I get to do this, as it allows me to go back and be able to be the mother that my children need me to be.
No matter what comes, remember that others do have two hands, and we need only to reach out our own and ask for help. As a final note to this narrative, I did, in fact, allow my best friend to help me carry the items; and I now find myself saying that same phrase to others.