I will never be like my elders.
My Grandmother had her wits about her. She was very instructive and very clear. In fewer words, she sometimes seemed mean. She was tough, and she did not repeat herself. I remember growing up wondering why she was angry all the time. Now that I am a mother, wife, business owner, keeper of the laundry, and the list goes on. . . I hear my grandmother come out of my mouth more and more. Why am I yelling all the time? Why do I feel like I need to get away for a day—sometimes a week? I’m exhausted. I’m short-tempered and my patience is growing thinner by the day. Where is this coming from?
Young, Wild, and Free!
Soak it up, ladies! Because there will come a time when you will have a vomiting baby on your shoulder, all while your dogs are fighting, your phone is ringing, also, the ramen is boiling over the pot. If you are anything like me, you will use that opportunity to call a more seasoned mom friend, or even your own mother. Then they will say something like, “it goes faster than you think,” or “this too shall pass.” To be frank, I think I’m one “this too shall pass” away from throwing toys off of the balcony. Who am I?
I wasn’t always this way.
In fact, despite what my step-daughter may think, there was a time when I was actually cool, fun, and trendy. But these days I care so much less about being cool, fun, and trendy. I just want to make it through one day without yelling at someone. So, I took it upon myself to start therapy. I needed to figure out why I was becoming my grandmother at only 36 years of age.
You Are Overstimulated!
My therapist never once told me that this was going to pass. She laid out facts, which I appreciate. She gave me the top reasons we may feel overstimulated and ways to cope with it. I hope this list helps you as much as it helped me.
Why are you overstimulated?
- Hormonal changes: Did you know that hormones can alter sound? What?? Pregnancy causes your oxytocin and cortisol levels to change, thus changing how sound is processed, making things sound louder than they are. This will continue after birth to help your body adjust to its new role.
- New Responsibilities: As a new mom, you are now promoted to chef, chauffeur, problem solver, nurse, therapist, dry cleaner, maid, and more. Congratulations, but keep in mind taking on so many new roles is the perfect way to become overstimulated. (Yay!)
- Social Media: I literally had to delete and unfollow about 35 mom influencers. Y’all, when I tell you how many nights I cried due to guilt and shame that I could not keep up with these supermoms on instagram! How is Karen Jr. meal prepping in a pristine clean kitchen on a Sunday, while her kids are all smocked out in white (with no stains on them), and her hair and makeup are flawless? I would look down at the mustard on my shirt and the donut in my unwashed hair and wonder if I should move to a cave.
Signs That you Are Overstimulated:
- Unease and worsening anxiety
- Needing more alone time than usual
- Not wanting to be touched
- Irritability or anger
- Difficulty focusing
- Neck Tension
- Restlessness
- Always feeling like nothing is getting done or feeling like you have a million things to do
- Covering your ears
Ways you can Cope with Overstimulation
- Say NO!
- Stop multitasking.
- Put down your phone.
- Tell your partner, and ask for help.
- Practice mindfulness, whether that means, yoga, therapy, meditation, or even breathing techniques.
Remember “This too shall pass.”—kidding!—I mean, it will pass, but that’s not the advice I’m going with today. Breathe, know you are not alone in this, and, remember, you are probably not angry. . . you are just overstimulated.
