Being a mommy is no easy ministry, so adding mommy advocate for special needs into the mix makes for many busy days. This is definitely an assignment purposed by God and worthy of it all. We are chosen by God, created with the ability to carry and give birth to life. Hearing the 5 words, “your child may have autism” is something a mother is never prepared for, but can be equipped for. You are a mom on purpose and God has equipped you for this journey.
The Signs
“Why is he not responding to his name?” “Why is he not talking yet?” These questions ran through my mind frequently. All the signs were there. He was a late walker and loved to walk on his tip toes. After being a good eater, his palette changed so that things he would normally eat he no longer did. He was saying a few first words like, dada, mama, eat, cup, and then nothing. Trace began to show signs of regression in different areas and started missing milestones in cognitive development.
The Denial
Trace is my sixth child, and due to me having extensive years of education and experience working with children I recognized the signs. I begin to ask his childcare teacher questions about him not responding to his name and the other signs right in front of my face. It was not that I hadn’t noticed or that I didn’t know. I had worked and cared for children with autism. For the longest I would tell myself it was just because he is the baby, then late one night my oldest son said, “ Mom, shouldn’t Trace be talking by now?” At this time he was turning 18 months. This is when I realized I was in denial.
That night I began to cry out to God, praying and asking for guidance and direction. I called the pediatrician the next morning and set up an appointment for an evaluation. The first test they scheduled was a hearing test, and he passed. Next up was early intervention, with more tests to determine what type of intervention Trace would need. He began to receive special instruction therapy while we awaited the autism testing.
The Diagnosis
Covid was in full swing by now, changing everything. Autism testing and diagnosis procedures were no different. On testing day, only one parent could be present, and then other testing with therapists were done virtually. The same precautions were in place once we were notified that the results were concluded and given a virtual meeting date and time. I remember the meeting like it was yesterday—this was a very hard day for me. To know, as a mom, that your child may have autism is one thing, but to hear the results aloud that your child has Level 2 Autism hits you differently.
Right then, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God had prepared me for this very moment. This was the moment I understood “Be Bold and Be Brave,” my motto I began to live by in 2018. It’s from Deuteronomy 31:6, which says, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble in dread before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.”
Do not be afraid. Be bold and brave mama. You are a mom on purpose.
My Tour Guide
The journey of being an Autism mom is a process with learning curves. I did not plan this journey of autism, but I sure do love my tour guide, Trace. Trace means “brave,” and that he is—mommy brave. He has taught me to be brave. I have to be for him. I have to speak up for him, because I am his spokesperson. A mother knows her child, so we can all advocate like a mother.
This was amazing, touching and so needed. I think this was a wonderful story and me being a parent of an autistic child I smiled and cried! Thank you BHM
I also have a son with autism and I can tell you that as the days progress, you no longer see their autism as something to overcome. My son was my first or 4 kids, so I didn’t have as much experience with typical development. Most parents don’t get a diagnosis until 3, so 18 months is very early intervention. The earlier you find out, the better likelihood for helping your child get the help[ they need to have the best outcome. Our kids may seem a little socially awkward and different, but you begin to just see them for who they are, which includes their autism and it gives them character. These are some of the most loving and caring people I have met with an innocence that confirms that they are exactly as God intended them to be. There is nothing wrong with our babies, they are just unique and want us to accept them as they are and celebrate them and as we advocate and support them. Great article and God Bless you and your beautiful family.
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