I recently had an interesting conversation with a group of my homeschool mom friends. We come from all walks of life, but we have all had similar comments made to us about our choice to homeschool our children. We got a good laugh (or cry) out of the discussion at the time, but later on it had me ruminating…wondering…pondering.
Then I was fully questioning…. “Why do others feel the need to critique or question us for teaching our own children?”
I’m sure the answer is not that others want to judge or belittle our choices. I’m sure it isn’t that they feel they are experts on education, parenting, statistics, or developmental models. It couldn’t be that family members and friends, accounting for a surprising number of the comments, want to make us feel inadequate or reckless with our own children.
No, I’m quite sure that the reason so many offer concerned opinions on the topic of homeschooling, is that we are a bit of a mythical group of people in today’s modern American culture. Counter cultural, to say the least. Maybe we really are more like unicorns and mermaids than we realize. Not that we have horns and fins, although both of those things were actually on my child as she worked on fractions today, but because we represent an ideal. Homeschooling, for many, seems like a nice thought if it could really do all it says it can. Maybe the nay-sayers and unnecessary-comment sharers are really just unaware of the real truth behind these “Homeschooling Myths.”
Debunking 5 Common Myths:
1. The S-Word: Socialization
Okay, Okay. First off, let’s get to the rat killing (a term that my great grandfather would agree was utterly necessary in the situation). A friend used “S-Word” when describing the concern others have had about her children being socialized enough, you know, because homeschoolers sit at home, staring at each other all day, no link to the outside world, devoid of interaction. Sorry for the sarcasm, but seriously, this is NOT the way it goes for 99% of homeschool families.
Just this week alone, we had homeschool art class, an American Heritage Girls meeting, our community co-op, sewing classes, trips to the library for chess and Legos (and books of course), visits with grandparents, and church activities. That was all in seven days! That’s not even counting regular farm chores, creek swimming, and other life events. I have to literally force “home time” to get bookwork completed and household chores done. There are SOOOO many options in Birmingham and the surrounding areas for homeschoolers to enjoy fun and educational social outings. The sky truly is the limit!
2. Homeschoolers are all religious fanatics.
Nope. Not even close. Sure, some of us have chosen this way of life because of personal convictions, religious beliefs, political concerns, and other assumed reasons, but that only accounts for some of the homeschooling community. There are those who enjoy the open and flexible schedules to spend time traveling, visiting family, or perfecting skills and hobbies. Some do it because they like the vast educational and creative opportunities it affords their children. They want the ability to hand-pick what experiences they have, careers they can explore, and to teach each child on their level in an authentic and non-stressed way. The homeschooler landscape has a vast and unique collection of families, and those families have a plethora of reasons why they chose this lifestyle.
3. Homeschool kids won’t be ready for the real world.
This one makes me giggle. I have been in Winn-Dixie buying groceries at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday, after morning lessons, having my kids read aisle signs to find what we need, navigate to the items, tell me the cost, help me calculate if we have enough money left, bag the groceries, help load them in the car, unload them, sort the items at home, and then help me cook from the list.
Homeschoolers get to deal with real world problems. We don’t “skip school” because learning is life-long and all-encompassing. Even Mom still has to learn how to use WordPress, or improve SEO rankings!
The other thing about this that many don’t consider is that our kids work in family units, in co-op settings, tutoring classes, elective hobbies, and multi-age play groups. These children don’t sit in a room all day with only kids of their age group. They learn to talk to toddlers AND adults. They learn to share, care, nurture, encourage, and help others in authentic ways. They balance bank accounts, help with chores, shop with or for their parents, take classes that interest them and develop their strengths, and learn firsthand that education is a part of the natural ebb and flow of life.
4. They are academically behind other kids in schools.
Wrong! I hear it repeated so often, and it’s simply not the truth. Comparing a homeschooled 10 year old to a traditionally schooled 10 year old is NOT comparing apples to apples. It’s more like comparing an apple to a sweet potato. Both are wonderful, tasty foods that are good for you and well-loved. However, they were grown in different environments! One in a tree, one underground. One is a fruit, another a root vegetable. They are planted and tended differently, with different needs and expectations from the farmer. BUT they are both dense in nutrients, varied in uses, and make delicious pies!
In a world that celebrates diversity, why can we not see how this equates to education and development? Children in a public school class of 25 need to stay on some type of schedule to meet certain goals, and some must determine who falls behind that benchmark. Parents that homeschool have the freedom to teach according to each child’s maturity and development in mind, not worrying about a deadline on a calendar. Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and we choose to measure growth and achievement differently. That does not make these children academically deficient, or unintelligent.
We can also point out that the vast majority of these students typically perform above average on the college SAT or ACT, and tend to excel in college, if that is their post-high school choice. The ones that do not choose college tend to learn sooner what career they want to pursue. This gives them the chance to start working and enrolling in trade schools and internship programs more quickly.
5. But these parents aren’t qualified to TEACH!
Alrighty, then how could we teach them to use the potty or tie their shoes? How did we teach them their name or mom’s phone number? I received a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and taught in public school before becoming a mom, but that has nothing to do with why I can homeschool.
NOBODY loves my kids more than me. I care deeply about their success and happiness. Working to ensure they get what they need is now in my DNA as a mom. There are online curricula, games, study groups, private tutors, gobs of choices in method and delivery of knowledge, and resources at every corner. Sounds like good company!
For my babies, I will go to the moon and back if necessary. All of you would say this too! You might not choose to school your kids at home, but don’t make it about your skills or training. You’ve been teaching them since the moment they were born.
Interesting points! So, what now?
I hope this helped clear up some confusion. Every family should have the choice how to educate their children, whether they prefer traditional schools, private schools, Montessori schools, hybrid schools, or homeschooling. Maybe we can all just agree to cheer other parents on in this crazy life and spend less time spreading misinformation. Just because something isn’t mainstream, doesn’t mean it’s ineffective or invalid. A simple “atta-girl” does wonders for all kinds of moms, with kids in all kinds of schools. The work of parenting, teaching, loving, and leading children is hard stuff…but however we do it, it’s ALWAYS worth the effort.
