I Will Never Feed My Kid Fast Food
I can hear my younger self cringe inside as I order a Happy Meal for the second time this month. There was a period in my life where I vowed to never introduce my child to the existence of a Happy Meal. But that was before I had a “I’m not hungry” son. Never mind the food pyramid. There are some days when I consider feeding him pure sugar for breakfast just so I know he is getting enough calories. (But before you judge me, let me reiterate that there was a time when I said I would never be that mom.)
I Will Never Shop at Target
I can picture fifteen year old me browsing through Dillards with a pocket full of Maw-Maw’s money thinking “when I have a son, I will only dress him in Ralph Lauren and Cremieux” Fast forward twenty years and I laugh when I see a price tag of $59.99 for a t-shirt that I know he will outgrow in approximately 6 days. Not to mention I know he will use this shirt to make messes, clean messes, and as a glorified snot rag.
Spider-Man
That is an entire sentence in itself but I will break it down. Because unbeknownst to me, spahetti-oh’s don’t taste good when they are in fact shaped like oh’s. Now, shape that same noodle as a Monet inspired spider web and tah-dah, gourmet cuisine. Again my younger self is mocking me “who would ever pay double the price for the same can of food just because one is shaped like a cartoon character?” (See paragraph one.) I have a picky eater so if I have to pay double to get him to eat -I will.
Fun Fact about Spider-Man: In toddler world, pull-ups for potty training will cause an all out tantrum. However, throw on some Spidey pull-ups or underwear and he is all in. Same goes for clothing and even…yes…light up shoes.
Some Days I have to Let Him Win
He gets his way and I keep my sanity. kind of a win/win. And if his victory means I pay double for pull ups and processed food shaped like spiders I’ll eat crow and laugh as I remember all the times I said “I would never do that, when I’m a mom.”
